Looking back over my posts, most of them have been somewhat (ok-TOTALLY) weighty, theological matters that have been the result of a lot of prayer and meditation. This one...not so much. I don't want to go so far as to say that is me "venting," but this is certainly me wanting to state my reasons for taking a certain position. I hope that it doesn't come across as too preachy or confrontational, but, if it does, sorry. I'm just trying to work through some things haha.
Ok, so let's put the cards on the table. I like to commit to things. If you have a program or an idea, I'm all about signing up for it. I don't know why I'm that way (Mom-why am I that way?), but I know that I am. And, because I'm a fan of mass communication, everybody else knows as well. I mention this because-according to every blog, study, poll, anecdote, and personal experience that I have-I am a member of the least committed generation EVER. Whether it's marriage or church membership, my people don't like to commit to things (except for Crossfit. Boy, we will commit to Crossfit. Or Irontribe. Whatever). As one who often plans things (nothing sweeter than committing to your own ideas, my friends), here is a rundown of a few of the top reasons I'm given for being unable to commit.
1.) Too little notice-As in, "I would've TOTALLY loved to come to that, but I've already made plans! I wish you would have let me know sooner!" Understandable. A commitment made should be a commitment honored.
2.) Too MUCH notice-Y'all, for real. As in, "I don't know...that's so far away." Apparently, there is some sort of sweet spot that I have yet to find that is just the RIGHT amount of notice.
3.) The better offer-Ahh...the better offer excuse. Let me show you how this one (my favorite!) works. I shall do it in the form of a dialogue between myself and a friend.
ME: Hey, _____! How are you?
THEM: Good, man! How are you?
ME: I'm great-hey, listen. Did you see that event I invited you to on Facebook?
THEM (looking nervous): Yeah...I did...
ME: Can you come? It should be a lot of fun!
THEM (looking positively UNCOMFORTABLE now): I'm not sure....I'll have to see
ME: Oh...you've already got plans?
THEM: No. No plans.
ME: So, you don't want to come?
THEM: No, I want to. I just need to see if I'll be available that night. I don't want to say yes and then not be able to come.
Ah! "I don't want to say yes and then not be able to come." In other words, what if I say yes to you, and then something better comes alone? I'll feel obligated to come to your thing, but I don't really want to! What's a millennial to do?
This is where I want to dip my toe, ever so slightly, into the pool of Biblical truth and then move back to venting. I'm not saying that if you're unable to commit to a facebook event you'll be unable to commit to marriage. I'm not. I'M NOT. What I'm saying is that this word of wisdom from John Piper is so good that I think it has applications across many areas of our life.
To paraphrase, Piper says that most people today think of "love" being the soil out of which "commitment" grows in a marriage. In other words, I love you, so I am committed to you. But, as Piper points out and every married person can attest, love in a marriage is not constant. You may always love your spouse (but there will probably be times when you don't), but you certainly don't always love them the same. If at any moment that love wanes or even dies, there goes your commitment. Hence the catastrophic divorce rate even among the church. If, however, we view our commitment as the soil out of which our love grows, then we will have an unshakable foundation for that love. There will be times when the love will not be there, but the commitment that you made before God and man sustains that love. (If you're interested, here is that roundtable discussion in which John Piper, Tim Keller, and D.A. Carson discuss marriage: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cZiM362HN-Y).
Now, what in the WORLD does that have to do with committing to day-to-day things? This is what: making promises is LIBERATING. Committing is good for the soul. How do I say that? Well, first off, read this article: http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2002/decemberweb-only/12-16-56.0.html?start=5. Done? Ok, good. Let me try and draw a contrast between how I think I build my calendar and how it seems that others draw theirs.
When I look at my calendar full of white spaces, I first fill them up with the essentials. Daily time in the word and prayer, time with faith family on Sunday, time with my small group(s) on Thursday and Wednesday. Those are the foundations of my week. Those are sacrosanct. Next, I want to pay bills, so I add in when I'm working. Then, I try and see when I can see friends, clean the house, mow the lawn, grocery shop, do some reading, and just be alone. These are all good things that a person needs to stay balanced. When a friend of mine asks me to do something, and if I'm available I say yes. Why? Because, even if whatever we're doing isn't my favorite thing, I want them to know that they matter to me. I want them to know that, even if there's THE WORLD'S GREATEST PARTY going on next door, I'm happy to spend time with them. To be totally honest, there are many people, people that I love dearly, who, when they show up to something that I've invited them to, I don't feel honored or pleased. I feel, partially, that they just showed up because nothing better came along.
It seems to me, and I could be wrong, that many people get intimidated or greedy when they see white spaces on the calendar. Intimidated in that, with SO MANY OPTIONS being thrown at them at all times, they are afraid to pick one lest it turn out to be the "wrong" one. Greedy in that, with SO MANY OPTIONS being thrown at them at all times, they refuse to pick anything lest it not be exactly what they want. We are a generation with nearly limitless options for life, yet we commit to none of them. We can do anything and go anywhere, but we stay at home or in our bubble-afraid to make a wrong move. We can change the world, but we don't for fear that it won't be as fun as something else. My friends, leave all that behind. Commit to things-good things! Make a promise, keep that promise, and know that you are bringing glory to the Father in both of those actions. Now, I'm not telling you to re-up for that kickball league that you love so much, I'm telling you to commit to serving others or spending time with a friend. Then, if necessary, give up something else to keep that promise! It's good for you! There is, of course, a danger in over-committing; I will freely admit to that. It seems to me, however, that our generation is going to pass away without committing to a single thing that is worthwhile. I'd fear that far more.
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